Do
you look in the mirror and love what you see? If the answer is no, know you are
not alone. Society has created insecurities in people through the use of media.
Photoshop, starvation, and steroids have consumed people, mainly because media
has encouraged this behavior through images by saying it is “beautiful or
manly.” People magazine researched 1,000 women and found that “93 percent have
tried to lose weight, 34 percent have had or would consider having cosmetic
surgery, and 34 percent said they would be willing to try a diet even if it
posed at least a slight health risk (People Mag). This statistic leaves eight percent
of women who feel confident about themselves; however, statistics on male image
and gender stereotypes are incredibly sparse. Believe it or not, social media
produces harmful and unattainable gender stereotypes for men as well, and the
harmful effects of social media towards both genders must stop if we are to
heal our societies.
Women
are very misunderstood. The impossible beauty standard chants, "Don't be
too thin but definitely not too thick. Be toned and tan but don't have a six
pack or look like over-cooked bacon. Be innocent and sexy. Make sure you act
like a lady but are still fun, playful, and mischievous when needed, etc."
Luckily, there have been recent campaigns to bring societal awareness of the
media’s influence on woman. People are becoming aware of this problem more and
more all the time and a lot is being done to help each woman become more
comfortable with herself as a unique and beautiful individual. The problem
remains that no one is campaigning against harmful male gender stereotypes. Men
are expected to be respectful, to have manners, and to be sensitive to a
woman's feelings; ironically, a single sign of sensitivity causes people to
question a man's sexuality. Most women don't say, "I will not date a man
who doesn't have an attractive body," but if you look at most girls social
media and find their "man crush Mondays" you'll see images of partially
nude men with muscles on muscles. That is the standard which women are setting,
just as men have set for women through the same process which causes insecurities
in men. “Men fear ‘man boobs’ and ‘cankles’ just like women fear cellulite and
back fat,” says swimming instructor Sydne Didier (Role Reboot). The problem
with men being insecure is that if they express their feelings about being
insecure, they are almost always assumed to be gay. Girls vent their feelings
all the time on social media and to their friends, but when a guy does it; it
is considered "unmanly."
Being
unable to express your struggle to others has been proven to be a major factor
in suicides. Psych Central’s research from 2013 has proven that suicides in men
are four times higher than the suicides of women (Men Suicide). Now, I'm not
trying to discredit the harsh situation women are in, because as a women myself
I know that the daily battle of the physical and emotional demands has reached
an impossible standard while attempting to maintain a balanced life. I am just
trying to point out that society is creating a similar situation for men that
people seem to sweep under the rug, because if the men aren't complaining about
it, then it's obviously not there. With women as the minority gender, male
gender issues are not discussed. Society condemns the body dysmorphia that
Barbies encourages towards women but turns a blind eye to the identical issue
brought about by Superman. This kind of ignorance starts serious problems in
our society. Obviously someone who feels insecure will not feel comfortable
about expressing their insecurities. Making both men and women feel confident
in what they say, feel, and look like, by example, and encouragement is one
step closer to a world where men and women are not continually forced into singular
molds.
Another
thing society has so carefully destroyed is the integrity of friendships.
Nowadays your friends can be your harshest critics. For women, friends will
usually say things to other friends while the subject of the gossip is not
around. For men ‘behind one’s back’ isn’t as much of a problem as a group
making flaws of the man into a public joke. Studies show that the men who are poking
fun are actually trying to move the focus onto someone else’s flaws because they are
insecure themselves, causing insecurity in the subject of the joke as well
(Addis). Making fun of someone publicly as a joke is something that has become
socially acceptable. People don’t even realize that someone’s emotional state
is under damage as the playful bullying is in action.
There
is nothing wrong with women posting "man crush Monday" pictures on
social media, and I'm not saying that being active, attractive, and healthy is
wrong. I'm simply trying to point out that both men and women should not feel
the need to meet social media’s expectations. The physical expectations toward
both sexes create severe body dysmorphia and cultivate mental illness. Assuming
men don't understand the realness of trying to reach an incredibly high
standard while also having feelings they feel cannot be expressed because of
the shallowness of society is wrong.
No,
not all men are secretly insecure, just as all women are not insecure. Not all
friends are disloyal, and not all of society is corrupt, but even a little
darkness in the world can bring down the brightness of the light. Once society
is aware of the harmful gender molds, we can retrain our thought patterns to
create defenses against impossible standards which will begin to heal our
society. Awareness need to be created to help build a more understanding world
that realizes media is carefully trying to destroy both the inner and outer
beauty that has been given to each man and woman by God himself.
P.S. This arrival goes along great with what you just read: http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/aug/15/suicide-silence-depressed-men
-Malori Ann
Works
Cited
Addis, Michael E. "Gender and
Depression in Men." Clark U. N.p., n.d. Web. 4 June 2008.
<https://www.clarku.edu/faculty/addis/menswellbeing/pdfs/genderanddepressioninmen.pdf>.
Dam, Julie K.L., and N.F. Mendoza.
"How Do I Look?" People Magazine. N.p., n.d. Web. 4 Sept.
2000.
<http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20132200,00.html>.
Didier, Sydne. "Men Feel Insecure
About Their Bodies Too." Role Reboot. N.p., n.d. Web. 5 Nov. 2013.
<http://www.rolereboot.org/life/details/2013-11-men-feel-insecure-about-their-bodies-too>.
Nauhert, Rick. "Men's Suicide
Rate." Pysch Central. Ed. John M. Grohol. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 June
2013.
