Too Righteous

 

There have been many times in my life when I haven't dared to follow what I knew to be right because I was afraid of judgement. Living in Utah is hard in that way (it's actually probably hard everywhere) because if you use the response "I won't because I'm LDS" your peers will respond with "I'm LDS too and I'm doing it, don't be a goodie good, it's not THAT bad." 

Well tonight is when one the few nights that I did stand up for what I believe. If you know me at all you know that I never stand up for myself. I never state my opinions and I let people walk all over me. (Except for this blog of course, I am myself on here.) Tonight I drove to Orem from Delta with my friends. We had planned to go watch Transformers 4. When we got to the theater everyone changed their minds, they all wanted to go watch the movie Lucy. Lucy is a movie about a girl who uses 100% of her brain instead of the normal 10%, Lucy is also rated R. We almost weren't able to buy tickets because a couple of the kids I was with didn't have their ID's. But then they asked me to buy their tickets for them. Great, thanks satan, I guess that makes me accountable for their sinning of watching this movie too.

Now I REALLY didn't dare say I wasn't going to go to a rated R movie. I began justifying it in my head with thoughts like, "it's not going to be that bad of a movie!" Or "it'll show these non-LDS kids I'm with that being LDS isn't just for perfect people and that you can still have fun, it's like a strange form of missionary work." 

YES I LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT! So I bought my ticket and three others.

Just marching my way to Hell is the next thought that popped into my head. It was like a war inside my head. Yes, over something as simple as a movie. 

So after we bought our snacks and drinks we headed towards the theater. I dropped back behind the group of 10 people and slipped away unseen. Wahoo!!!! 

I then found myself sitting on a bench near the drink machine just overthinking the situation. What will everyone think? Suddenly my phone was vibrating in my lap and I ignored it. It didn't matter though, Shania walked around the corner, (she probably knew I wouldn't answer.) 

"What the heck are you doing?" She asked.

"Oh uh.. Just sitting here."

"Well come on, the movie is starting!"

"Umm.. Uhh.."

"Mal, what's wrong?"

"I just.. I don't... I don't want to watch an R rated movie."

"Ahhh Mal, you should have said something, I'm sorry!!!" 

"No, no, it's fine really! Can you just tell them I'm sick and get me the keys to the car?"

"Sure, yeah I can do that!"

GOOOOO MALORI!!!!! 

I stood up for myself!! Wahooooo!!!!! Go me!!!!! 

But now I sit in the car for two hours waiting for them to come. Nervous to hear their judgements, especially the non-LDS kids. But it was most definitely worth it, even if they believe that I'm "too righteous." In fact, that's a compliment to me, so I hope they think that. I hope I am an example to them. 

UPDATE:

My friends were all way respectful and chill about the whole situation!(: